There is a theory that indicates that when looking for a partner, that person is more likely to be similar to one of our parents, both physically and in personality. And it is also said that it is because we need what is familiar to us. In this article we will tell you how it affects your parents’ relationship in your love life .
Therefore it is not strange to think that according to how your parents’ relationship is how you are with your partner. Are we doomed to repeat mistakes? Or can we take advantage of the lesson not to do it in the future? We answer you below.
Your parents’ relationship says a lot about you
If you grew up in a home where expressions of affection were not frequent, surely you are not a very demonstrative person. Or, if your family is to organize meetings and dinners for everyone, you may be an excellent host when you move, get married or receive people.
Everything we receive – or not – in our childhood has an amazing impact on our adulthood. The traumas of that time are the most difficult to overcome and the beautiful memories, impossible to erase.
Did you know that our personality is forged from before birth? It is said that according to how the mother is during pregnancy, the baby will be in the future. For example, a very nervous woman will give birth to a restless child. Of course there are exceptions, but it is to understand to what extent we are vulnerable to the actions of our parents.
This does not mean blaming them for everything that happens to us, but taking it into account when analyzing our attitudes or the way we do certain things. Because everything that has happened to us in childhood has left traces, many of them imperceptible until they ‘come to light ‘ and can influence our personal relationships.
Your parents’ relationship is your example
If your parents have divorced, does that mean you will also go that way? Not necessarily. But you should be careful what behavior patterns you follow in your relationship.
For example, if your father was not too affectionate with you, you may not like your partner to show you his affection; or if your mother was very overprotective, you may ‘turn’ your boyfriend into your son and fill him with attention that he does not request or considers unnecessary.
The relationship that your parents have (or that they had when you were little) is the reflection of your love relationships. Analyze it for a moment and say, with complete sincerity, if there isn’t even something you do that reminds you of them.
It is natural that we look for what we are familiar with, we cannot forget that man is an animal of customs . The changes terrify us, even if they are positive and make us better people.
The love relationship we will look for then, will be marked ‘by fire’ by the experience we have had with our parents . You may not have noticed, but there are many features of your partner that resemble those of one of your parents. And it’s not always boyfriend-father or girlfriend-mother; Sometimes the roles are changed.
Of course, we ‘inherit’ the good and also the bad from those who have given us life and raised us. That is why it is up to us to know how to differentiate what we can keep and what is best resolved or treated.
Get the best out of your parents’ relationship
We recommend that you do an exercise, for which you should be as objective and sincere as possible with yourself. The idea is that as a first step you make a list of everything you remember about your parents’ relationship as a child. You can separate it into positive and negative aspects to differentiate them.
Then, take each of those items and think if you are repeating it in your love story. If so, determine if it brings negative or positive consequences to your relationship. If they are beneficial, keep doing them; otherwise, do your best to banish them from your life.
Do not feel imprisoned by the actions of your parents; You have a unique possibility: predict the future. If they are still together, take note of how they have succeeded. And if they have separated, also keep in mind their dealings, their words, their gestures or everything that led them to that situation.
You are only doomed to repeat the past if you do nothing to change it. You have all the tools at your disposal … And you know the end (or the present) of the story! You should not miss that opportunity.
Continue to apply the habits of your parents’ relationship that you believe may work with your partner. And leave aside harmful attitudes and do not allow a happy future at your side.